We all adopt personae at one time or another.
I honestly believe that my behaviour and my personality are more nearly approaching each other, in most respects, than they ever have, but, of late, I find that I am rather more playful than I have been in the past. There is something about getting older that is incredibly liberating. I have no one to please but myself, and, after all these years, it turns out I really have very little in the way of a reputation to live up to.
I detect a sea change. There are reasons for this, some of which I am fully aware of, but won’t discuss here because they are not all mine own, and other people’s secrets are precisely that. The point is this: Change comes upon us and it doesn’t much matter why, what matters is how we choose to deal with change, how willing we are to embrace it, and whether or not our attitude is positive.
My attitude is very deliberately positive.
Some of the changes in my life at present are very much being thrust upon me, and I have chosen, quite consciously, to thrust back.
Yesterday, I got rid of my grey hair, at least for the time being. I coloured my hair for an age, but three years ago, or so, I decided that the grey, the badger as we grew to call it, might look rather good on me, sophisticated, even, and I was going to embrace it. It was serious hair, and why the hell not?
Yesterday afternoon a total stranger stopped me in the street and told me that I looked cool. Last night the husband snogged me rudely when he arrived home, and ran his hand over the nap of my hair, which nearly resembles a vixen pelt. Then, during dinner, my favourite waiter, who has the best taste of anyone I know, also commented on how fierce I was looking.
People can be lovely, but I’m going to try to bear in mind that perhaps I am looking good right now, perhaps the fact that I am enjoying life, throwing myself into all sorts of madness, vamping up my wardrobe, posting photos of myself in a corset, tinting my hair, waxing my eyebrows and flirting with the husband morning, noon and night is giving me the sort of glow that people respond to.
I tell myself that is just possible.